Liberals, DO Homeschool Your Kids!

21 February 2012 Categories: public school

Laurie’s son, Brycen, involved in social justice work

Why allowing children to live and learn freely nurtures progressive values

The institution of forced school is in panic mode right now. More and more parents are taking action to protect their children from a largely unaccountable environment that is responsible for inflicting intensifying distress upon young lives. Increasing numbers of parents are opting for arts-based charter schools, child-centered private schools, democratic schools, homeschooling and the most natural choice, unschooling. The institution of public schooling has been responsible for child abuse, human rights violations, epidemic psychiatric drugging, health risks, violence, enforcing increasingly stressful time expectations, developmentally inappropriate curriculum, lack of play and physical activity, destroying creativity and dulling children’s interest in learning. The Slate article, Liberals, Don’t Homeschool Your Kids by Dana Goldstein seems to minimize many of these human rights concerns and instead begs progressive parents to do what is in the best interest of the public schools. As a progressive parent who is unschooling a happy, socially conscious, community-involved, socially adept and creative teen son, I am asking you to instead consider what is best for your children and what is in the best interests of children’s rights in our society. Does public school nurture or violate progressive values?

1. Forced confinement and regimenting children’s basic biological needs is a human rights violation

First and foremost, your children’s health and well being are more important than anything. In public school, your children’s bodies are at risk for harm; when children’s bodies are in distress, children are additionally at risk for psychological harm. It is no secret that school teachers, especially in the higher grades, deny children the right to use the toilet when needed. Teachers also deny children the right to eat, hydrate, move around and be physically active when needed. Physical activity, if it is allowed at all, is often regimented to one 10 minute time period per day. Toileting is according to classroom regiment in the younger grades and in the higher grades, there is no humane time for toileting at all. All of these practices of distressing the body not only interfere with learning, but these practices put your child at medical risk and psychological risk and violate their basic human rights. Only prisons and factories treat people in this manner, and factory workers have OSHA to protect them from being denied use of the toilet. To put it bluntly, schools deny your children their natural biological needs, which constitutes a human rights violation; if you can’t trust teachers to take care of your children’s basic needs, how could you trust them with their learning needs?

2. Forced schooling has no place in a democracy

The entire concept of compulsory schooling- forcing a certain segment of the population who have committed no crimes to be confined against their will with no say or choice in what is done to them- is the antithesis to democracy. To teach children about life in a democracy by holding them hostage until age 18 with no right to participate in a meaningful democratic environment is nonsensical and bizarre at best. At worst, public schools have served the purpose of engineering a very apathetic and uninvolved population who seems content to go along with the herd mentality and consumerism. Children in the Sudbury Valley private school actually live democracy- They have at all ages, total freedom to direct their day any way they please, with play being the main modality of learning, as nature intended. In democratic schools, each child has a vote equal to that of adults in all school matters, including whether to keep certain teachers, classes or policies. Unschoolers who build networks in the community have an even more authentic learning experience than children in these democratic schools.

3. Creativity, love for learning, play and critical thinking all suffer in public school

The United States is rapidly losing its creativity and its ability to think critically. Children, who are born insatiable learners, lose the desire for self directed learning often prior to the 6th grade. Play, which is the way children of all ages, from infants to adolescents, are wired to learn and make sense of life, is ironically regimented, banned and bled out of schools. What kind of environment won’t allow children to learn in the fun way they are wired to learn, in the way that stimulates passion and intense energy? When children are forced to sit sedentary at desks most of the day taking orders, creativity and learning are stifled while children become adept at being conditioned. Do you want your child to be merely conditioned, or do you want your child to be passionate about learning?

4. Increasing numbers of children, especially boys, are being pathologized for developmentally appropriate behavior

Boys and their human rights are being trampled in schools and sadly, few progressives are sounding the cry and standing up for them. Natural, healthy boy behavior (and the healthy behavior of highly physically active girls) are being pathologized as symptoms of the questionable and unsubstantiated “ADHD” diagnosis and subsequently drugged with dangerous chemicals. Additionally, children, usually boys, who cannot conform to the developmentally inappropriate environment and painful regimentation of schooling will begin to display distress signals that are misinterpreted as “ADHD” or a series of mental illnesses. Schools pressure parents to have their children diagnosed and drugged so that the children will conform to the school, rather than the school conforming to the needs of children!

5. Public schools do not support progressive ideals, human rights, social justice or positive attitudes about human needs

By violating children’s basic human rights, schools certainly don’t support progressive ideals. Public schools are ageist against children, sexist against boys and they violate children’s civil liberties and human rights in some of the most primal, core ways. Some public schools have even suspended boys for long hair- in this decade! In 19 states in the USA, schools actually are allowed to physically assault children with wooden boards- In all 50 states, this barbaric practice is illegal against any adult, even prisoners! There is also increasing physical and psychological abuse of developmentally disabled and emotionally disabled children in public schools, which in some cases has resulted in fatalities. Public schools tend to have a very negative view of humanity, sexuality and human interactions, even punishing youth for showing “public displays of affection”. Children are criminalized for age-appropriate touching or sexuality and children of all ages are being punished, restrained, tazered, handcuffed and criminalized for emotional cries for help or for symptoms of their disabilities. Most tragically, sexual abuse of children in public schools by male and female school teachers is more common than most parents wish to realize- When female school teachers sexually abuse children, especially adolescent boys, they receive minimal or no jail time in comparison to male perpetrators and the incidents generate little media attention. This is certainly not social justice or equality!

6. The progressives of the 1960’s began the modern homeschool movement

Although religious zealots appear to be the primary homeschooling cohort, this is a myth. Children have been living and learning in freedom since the dawn of time, but it was the progressives of the 1960’s that began pulling their children out of public schools to provide them with a freer, more natural childhood. It was progressives who revitalized the modern homeschooling movement, and they held that title until the late 80’s when homeschooling began to get stereotyped by the media as a tactic by the religious Right to isolate their children from society. Although extremists exist in every facet of society, this is a false impression of the homeschooling movement. The millions of homeschoolers around the world make up a vastly diverse mosaic of families, peoples, lifestyles and political orientations. Many of the wild, brilliant, joyful and free children in the unschooling movement are the children of progressives, Leftists, liberals, intellectuals, crunchies and others who believe that children deserve the same human rights as adults.

7. Children are more likely to take part in social justice issues if they are being treated justly and are involved in the community during the day

When children spend the best of their growing years in conditions that render them powerless, the results are social apathy, not empathy. There is a phenomenon referred to as The Stockholm Syndrome in which people who are held captive by an all-powerful captor begin to align with the captor and take on the captor’s ways rather than show empathy for their own suffering or the suffering of other captives. Tragically, public school children seem to have some mild form of The Stockholm Syndrome phenomenon when they grow up, as they send their own children to the same environment that caused them such distress and bored them to tears as children. In the the movie Spirit Bear, the teen environmental activist was forced to put his intensely passionate efforts to save the endangered white Kermode bear on hold during school hours. I was struck by a scene in which the school teacher cynically demands that the teen activist put his schooling before his critical advocacy phone calls. Children who are homeschooled and unschooled are able to be active and conscious participants in social justice work in the community. They have time, motivation and energy to devote to causes of which they feel passionate. Often, these youth make an impact in the media and in their local communities. My own son, Brycen, an unschooler, began speaking publicly for children’s rights alongside me starting at age 12. Now, he focuses his time on writing music and being active in the community for children’s rights. This would not be possible for him if he was in public school all day and laboring over irrelevant homework at night.

8. Homeschoolers are some of the most diverse, empathic and best socialized children in society

Most homeschooled families roll their eyes and try to hold back sighs of exhaustion when the inevitable stereotypical question is asked by non-homeschoolers, “What about socialization?” I often laugh when I hear this, as my unschooled son has so many friends and such a diverse peer group that we literally do not have enough hours in the week to schedule in all of his  friends! At his recent 18th birthday indoor rock climbing party, the gym’s cap of 10 kids was stretched to 11, as my son could not decide which 10 of his circle of close friends to bring. When people ask, “How do homeschooled kids meet friends?” I answer, “How do YOU meet friends?” My son has friends that share in his diverse and vast array of interests; most are artists, some are rising or professional musicians, some are into Dungeons and Dragons, Medieval chainmaille, fort building, books, Live Action Role Play (LARPing) and some are into sports. My son has met his friends at the many community events, homeschool groups and activities of which he has been involved for years, or through groups he started on his own. All of my son’s friends treat him with respect and kindness and their relationships are based on having fun. Contrast this with the toxic dynamics that are viewed as “socialization” in public schools and it is like life on two separate planets. While public school youth segregate according to “coolness”, clothing labels, materialism and looks, my son and his peers are accepting and compassionate towards all people. While public school youth are trying to dull their boredom and angst with rebellion, defiance, substances, premature sex and peer bullying, most homeschooled youth, like my son and his friends, are close to their families and are busy playing, living and shaping their lives and their communities.

9. Learning without school is natural and its how children in Hunter-Gatherer cultures learned for millennia

Compulsory schooling is a relatively new experiment in the span of humanity- In the USA, Massachusetts was the first state to force schooling in 1852, modeled after the fascistic model of forced schooling in Prussia. Human children have been learning on their own, directed only by their own passions and interests (with support from family and mentors) since the beginning of time. Many of the most brilliant and famous minds in history were homeschooled or minimally schooled. Shakespeare only attended school a few weeks per year! Today’s homeschoolers join the distinguished ranks of famous brilliant homeschoolers such as Leonardo DiVinci, Joan of Arc, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Booker T. Washington, Claude Monet, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Margaret Mead, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Susan B. Anthony, Walt Whitman, Mark Twain, Agatha Christie, Whoopi Goldberg and so many others!

10. The purpose of childhood is to be joyful and to grow into an adult who is happy and fulfilling personal dreams

It is not our children’s responsibility to “take their place in the global economy”. Children have a basic human birth right to choose their own dreams, paths and lives and to engage in what makes them happy. Children will learn everything they need in order to fulfill their dreams- Adults who insist upon forcing a curriculum only interfere with that process. Rather than ask how children will be “competitive” in the job market without school, ask how your children will possibly find happiness and fulfillment if they remain in an environment that literally steals away most of their family time, free time, play time, social time- their childhoods. Your children’s well being and happiness must be the highest priority. It is not your children’s role to make a political or economic statement for you, for the school system or for the global market place. It is children’s role only to follow their individual callings in their own unique ways.

Segregating an entire cohort of people in society based on their age and forcing them into conditions of confinement, oppressive treatment and fascistic governance is not congruent with progressive values. The public school system is financially and socially invested in NOT changing its ways- Instead, they are pleading with you to keep handing over your children as fuel to keep the machine running. It is not possible for an institution built on a hierarchical model of subordinating youth to reform itself to one that is democratic for youth unless the paradigm defining “education” completely shifts. Education reform has been tried and has failed for half a century. Reforms continue to work within the paradigm that education is something homogenized that must be forced upon children by experts; that children can’t be trusted to learn what they need by having fun, playing and following their own passions. If you feel strongly that “public education” should be free and available to the public, work in your community to create and facilitate public, non-compulsory, democratic learning communities where children and adults are free to learn and teach others democratically- without school. However, in the meantime, treasure your children’s precious few years of childhood, especially if they are older, and release them from the oppression of public schooling. Don’t allow the school to damage your children any further while you wait around helplessly for the schools to change.

19 Responses to “Liberals, DO Homeschool Your Kids!”

  1. Patricia 21 February 2012 at 12:14 pm (PERMALINK)

    The best times of my life and our kids was when I homeschooled them for 2 1/2 yrs but yes, they were isolated.I did not know how to find others as we were new to the area. I sent them back to school and have had many problems since .All 4 of my kids have gone to the same schools and they are all the same .No respect from the teachers some are down right abusive.No one cares enough to make a change. The high school where my last child is now has the most stupid rules regarding absences and tardys and bathroom rights.They hand out unexcused tardies like candy an the detention halls are full. They built a whole wing onthe school just so they can house the kids THEY call uncontrollable! Just so they can keep them in school and continue to recieve aid for them. Its really disgusting.IF I could afford to home school my daughter whi is in 11 th I would take her out NOW!

    • Laurie A. Couture 21 February 2012 at 2:49 pm (PERMALINK)


      You CAN homeschool (or better yet, unschool) your daughter NOW. You do not need money to homeschool children. I am a single Mom on a very limited income and I make it work for my son because he is too precious to me to allow the school to hurt him. I don’t understand why your children were isolated- I’d recommend joining every homeschool group in your area, attending every community event in your area and getting your children involved in groups, classes and fun activities in your community. It takes the willingness and initiative to ask parents for their contact info so that you can set up play dates and connections for your children. The only way i can see homeschoolers being isolated is if they stay indoors and do not get out. “Homeschooling” is a misleading label, as most homeschoolers spend more time out in the community and doing outdoor activities than in the home. If you know the school is abusive to children, then it is your responsibility as a parent to take your child out of there. Most 11th grade children are old enough to stay home while parents work. Also, network with other families, starting with the Internet. My best to you and your family.


      • Karen 26 February 2012 at 7:48 am (PERMALINK)

        I agree with everything your article says, we are at the (official) end of home education, our two are now 19 and 16. Our local Home Ed yahoo group has 470 members, so loads of people to get to know but our two are pretty introvert, they mostly hated the group activities, we had to pick and choose the ones they liked. They were very selective about friendships too. I am an extrovert so it’s been pretty isolating for me personally, but brilliant for our two, they would have perished at school. They are both very kind, thoughtful, socially adept teenagers. I just wanted them to have the time and the freedom to play, to explore and enjoy life.

    • StephSchiff 23 February 2012 at 1:25 pm (PERMALINK)

      I finished high school at a local community college. I finished my Junior Year credits through correspondence classes while simultaneously taking my Senior Year classes at a Community College. I see no reason why she couldn’t do the same!

  2. nadja 21 February 2012 at 12:27 pm (PERMALINK)

    <3 wonderful <3

  3. radha 21 February 2012 at 7:45 pm (PERMALINK)


    You have to open your mind that some of us homeschoolers are in fact isolated. I live in a teeny tiny mountain town with one or two other homeschooling families whom are by choice very insular (neither are only parents like myself), as the town is a retreat town. Closest town aside is an hour away. YES i do drive an hour away for activities but more then once a week is exhausting. a nd YES i am also an only parent. It is VERY isolating.

    At present I am housesitting my parents house on the east coast and there are so many homeschoooling options we are taking advantage of! She lives in a more populated area. There is so much! I am pleasantly surprised at the upsurge of homeschooling in an area that is very materialistic and over achieving!

    BUT it is important to honor others experience. Some places are truly isolated and extremely challenging to learn at home, especially in the only parent only child dynamic. I speak from experience.

    • Laurie A. Couture 23 February 2012 at 1:50 pm (PERMALINK)


      I understand that some parts of the world are isolated. Life Learning magazine has carried articles and a column about families who have raised socially adept children despite the family homeschooling on a remote island or location. However, isolation is not the norm for most unschoolers and community-focused homeschoolers. Most homeschoolers and unschoolers have an abundance of opportunities to be part of the larger community. In fact, with the Internet, it is rare that most people in isolated locations would not have access to a homeschooling community online through social media. Another point I want to make is that it is a cultural myth that “socialization” has to always mean “people outside the family”. Children are “socialized” when they interact with people; being in the same family with someone is still “socialization”, in fact, children should primarily be socializing with their families and close family friends.


    • Ettina 10 October 2016 at 12:56 pm (PERMALINK)

      I personally think isolation can be better than public school. Kind of like how not having extended family is better than having an abusive extended family.

  4. Jenny 22 February 2012 at 10:42 am (PERMALINK)

    Fantastic response. I was SO irritated when I read Dana’s article. Rock on, Laurie!

  5. Tyler Button 22 February 2012 at 2:21 pm (PERMALINK)

    This article is amazing and very true. Going from public school to homeschool I see how they are screwing kids these days, which doesn’t make any sense because they are ruining their future.

  6. Ellen 23 February 2012 at 12:19 am (PERMALINK)

    As a liberal homeschooling two children largely *because* of their ADHD — which, let me assure you, is an issue at home as well as in a school setting — I have to say I’m thoroughly sick of people who’ve never read the neurological research spouting off about ADHD being a “questionable and unsubstantiated” disorder and referring to medication as “dangerous chemicals.” I suggest you take some time to educate yourself.

    • Laurie A. Couture 23 February 2012 at 1:42 pm (PERMALINK)


      I can assure you that “ADHD” is not a substantiated disorder and I can also assure you that I am extensively educated- I have a Masters in counseling psychology and worked as mental health counselor for 10 years, with years of independent research! I am one of those people who has the authority to diagnose children and refer children for psychiatric drugs. The issues your children are having at home probably tell more about their temperament, their learning style (kinesthetic), their holistic life environment, their unmet needs and their circumstances and less about anything “wrong” with them. In Hunter-Gatherer societies, children of ALL ages play actively in nature from morning until night. Children who live in industrialized societies spend most of their day sedentary, which causes distress to the brain and body, leading to hyperactive and unfocused behavior- The “symptoms” are a natural response to an unnatural environment. Certainly children may also have anxiety issues, food sensitivities, head trauma, neurological issues such as Autism and most commonly, (as evidenced by behavioral and emotional problems) parent-child attachment disruption and psychological trauma- All of those issues mimic “ADHD” symptoms. If you want to consult with me, I am happy to work with your family to help you become free of labels and support your children in living and learning congruent with their needs and unique wiring. I also hope you will take the time to read my book, Instead of Medicating and Punishing: Healing the Causes of Our Children’s Acting-Out Behavior by Parenting and Educating the Way Nature Intended.


      • Laurel 26 February 2012 at 1:45 pm (PERMALINK)

        Your response to this was wonderful! So often, parents see how adversely school affects their children without looking at their own adverse affect. I hope this parent gets some one on one counseling with you so that she can better understand how to work with her possibly ADHD children.

  7. Christeil Gota 23 February 2012 at 10:16 pm (PERMALINK)

    Thank you so much for writing this, Laurie!
    The care, protection and education of one’s children should indeed transcend political ideology. The defense of all children should certainly be the priority above political alliances. It is so important to speak out about this issue and to support the natural instinct of parents to protect their children from the dangers of institutional compulsory education.

    I never even thought there was an alternative to public school until my sons needed rescuing from it. If not for child advocates like you, I would have continued to allow my kids to suffer and doubt that nagging voice of instinct. I will be sharing this message far and wide as I truly believe it will help children and parents that are now in the position we were in a few years ago.

    Education alternatives, especially Unschooling saved, and continues to save our precious children!

    • Laurie A. Couture 24 February 2012 at 8:12 am (PERMALINK)


      Your words are heart warming and very much appreciated- I am honored to have wonderful AP parents on my blog who believe in treating children with compassion, respect and love. Your statement that the care of one’s children and the defense of all children must take priority above any political ideology is a desperately needed wake up call for Industrialized societies. It is a beautiful statement and one that those of us who put people before politics see as just common sense and a basic life principle. Thank you for sharing such a gem!


  8. kerry 26 February 2012 at 1:50 pm (PERMALINK)

    while i agree with your article, and even agree sometimes with using confrontational ways of framing topics, i can’t share with my diverse community more than your post that homeschooling is a liberal legacy. this is because people i know and love choose schools for their own reasons, and i have to respect that. many of your pro-homeschool points are framed as anti-school disrespect. again, I COMPLETELY AGREE with your points, but the way you choose to write them makes them impossible to share with a wider audience. (one that may include fence-sitters looking for the right nudge into homeschooling.) i applaud your passion. is it possible to communicate it in ways that encourage dialogue? that is the tough question. :)

    • Laurie A. Couture 26 February 2012 at 2:50 pm (PERMALINK)


      My purpose in writing is not to be palatable to those who are not ready for the information, nor is my purpose in writing to candy-coat the seriousness of the situation of school. My purpose is to advocate for and be a strong voice for children and to guide families who are ready to heal their relationships with their children. There are many other authors who write at the candy-coated, compromised, catering manner that you are seeking I am not, nor will I ever be, that type of author. Those who appreciate that I don’t compromise the truth about the inhumane conditions of public schools and the detriments of mainstream parenting, and that I tell it like it is, are the audience for whom I write.


  9. Laurel 26 February 2012 at 2:06 pm (PERMALINK)

    I unschooled my children for most of their school years; I took them out of school in 5th, 4th, 2nd, and 1st grades, and all of them remained unschooled for the rest of their years at home. Two are now in college, one wants nothing to do with college at this time and has become very interested in politics, much to our surprise, and the youngest is now 17 and looking into nursing schools while using her EMT license at a local rescue squad. I found unschooling to be the best option we could ever have pursued, and I educate everyone I possibly can about it’s benefits. My kids learned so much from our day to day experiences and the myriad of activities they engaged in.

    There is one element of unschooling, however, that I find distressing, and that is the radical unschooling movement that tends to attract the media. Every news story seems to focus in the same direction – a beyond quirky set of kids, and a parent who blithely insists that if their child wants to eat a whole bag of oreos for breakfast, they let them do so, because the child will eventually set their own limits. Except no. I’ve seen too many of these radically unschoolsd kids turn out to be young adults who wander aimlessly and turn out confused and unfocused. It also sets a terrible example of unschooling, and discourages parents from considering the option for their own kids. Free range learning is not the same as a home that is a free for all.

    I know that this is somewhat off-topic from your very excellent article, but I consider this to be one of the primary elements of unschooling that keeps it from becoming more widely embraced by all types of parents. I know that our family has been responsible for several other families entering into unschooling their kids, and what seems to have been the determining factor is that our kids had a combination of freedom to pursue their own interests in the ways that they chose, with an expectation on our part of goal-setting, productivity and progress. I wish that just once, the media would focus on a functional unschooling family and not the kind of radical unschooling chaos that, in my opinion, gives all unschoolers a bad name and the ridicule of the general public.

  10. Sarah 11 July 2015 at 12:49 am (PERMALINK)

    When I first read the article from Slate, I was furious. If people knew how decisions are being made in state Departments of Education and at the School Boards, we would not need to homeschool because so many people would rise up to fix the problem. It has been incredibly frustrating to teach teachers how to put children’s individual interests and learning styles first, but then watch them undermined by districts that want every teacher to teach the same lesson. Some days I feel like we are living in a society where our leaders read a little Huxley, some Heller, and threw in some Orwell for good measure, but they totally missed that they were satires.


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