Children are Born to Learn Everything They Need On Their Own

03 January 2011 Categories: Blog, homeschooling, unschooling

No one has to (or should) teach children anything. Children are wired from birth to learn everything they need to learn to reach their full potentials. They just need adults to get out of their way and instead guide, mentor and expose children to the resources they want and need in order to explore, create, play and invent. Children need to be free in order to learn. Public school destroys children’s innate passion for what they were individually born to do and forces them to be something they are not. Those who can hold onto a piece of themselves will then spend the next 20+ years trying to undo the damage that the school did.

How is it that people learned on their own for millennia, and our history’s most brilliant minds were infrequently schooled or unschooled, but yet today, with all of the “education” children receive, we have no more Shakespeares, DaVincis, Motzarts, Beethovens, Einsteins or Benjamin Franklins? Also, Margaret Mead, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Claude Monet, Serena and Venus Williams, Beatrix Potter, Agatha Christie, Robert Frost, Virginia Woolf and the Wright brothers and so many more famous great minds were homeschooled. As someone who works with children, what I see from the public schools are broken, miserable children who have lost their passion for life and learning. How could anyone who cares about children believe that children being held hostage in prison-like environments could lead them to joy, innovation, passion and happiness? In order for children to thrive, they need to be released from their cages- Each child needs to be freed to live and learn in harmony with their unique consciousness. Unschooling is the true way for children to learn- in joy and in freedom, which they have an innate, inherent right to do.

6 Responses to “Children are Born to Learn Everything They Need On Their Own”

  1. Lisa 7 January 2011 at 9:17 pm (PERMALINK)

    I think that this idea of homeschooling and even unschooling is indeed interesting!
    My question is – What happens to the child who has learning difficulties?
    I, myself have two very bright, happy, well-rounded girls. One of my girls was PAINFULLY shy. Thank goodness for preschool!! Although we have had one teacher I wasn’t fond of, she has the BEST fourth grade teacher ever! She is someone who understands my daughter in ways I can’t! (I’ve always been a teeny bit outspoken! :)
    My youngest daughter has had speaking difficulties, which was completely corrected by speech therapy, offered for free through our school system. The same child, was placed in the bottom 20 percent of her peers concerning reading. (Some hearing difficulties have since been named to blame for both problems, and corrected.) She has recieved the extra help she needed, through the Reading Recovery program, also free through our school. I believe that as a parent, you need to give your child the very best start in life. I consider myself a very good parent! I am a stay at home mom…have been for 10 years….the best job in the world! There is something to be said for a qualified, loving, teacher to teach my children. My job is to love, guide, encourage…reinforce in the learning process.
    I also believe that going to school everyday teaches our children to interact with others…positively, and to deal with disagreements and differences. Bottom line, that is what this world is about!
    I don’t wish to sound negative about homeschooling or unschooling,,,I just believe there may be benefits to both ways. :)

    • Laurie A. Couture 8 January 2011 at 2:06 pm (PERMALINK)


      Thank you for sharing your comments and your children’s situations with me. I am glad to hear that things are working our for your daughters in their school. Unfortunately, that is not the case for far too many children.

      Unschooling is about being in the community, interacting with people of various age groups all the time- It isn’t about being stuck at home, isolated from peers or people. It is quite the OPPOSITE of that, actually! In fact, many unschoolers, including my son and me, are not home often! Our home has traditionally been filled with kids who visit or my my son visits them. There are so many homeschool groups, community events, places to go, things to do, ideas to explore that the list is literally infinite of ways to spend each day! In school, children are age-segregated and are stuck in one or a few classrooms every day with the same daily monotonous situation. They are inside of a cage compared to children who unschool, who can literally be anywhere, anytime with whomever they wish, doing whatever they wish all through out the day. In school, children are corralled, controlled and told what to do and when to do it for six hours per day and then once they get home their time still is not their own with homework requirements. This is not living fully. This is having others direct them as if the child is a remote-controlled robot. Children deserve and have the right to more than that- They need joy and abundant play in their lives!

      There is nothing wrong with remedial services such as speech therapy, PT, OT and other services if a child is enriched by them and enjoys the provider and the service. These services can be accessed without attending public school. However, a word of caution. I’m not sure how old your daughter is who had the “reading recovery” services, but the mistake public schools make is believing that every child should learn to read by a certain age- usually by six. It is perfectly natural and normal for some children to read as young as three and some to learn to read at 12. The child who learns to read at 12 is no less “behind” and will later read at the same level as the child who learned to read earlier. When schools try to coerce and force children to “learn” to read and do math before the child’s brain is developmentally ready, great harm is done. There is no true “learning” occurring, just adaptation to the forceful “extra help”. When schools try to force “learning”, children cannot unfold on their own, they are labeled as “disabled” if they can’t conform and are often turned off to the subject being forced upon them. Best to allow children to grasp literacy and math in their own time, by having parents read to them, play words games and involve them in daily math such as cooking and banking.

      It sounds like you are a loving, awesome Mom who is very involved with her children. I think you would be the perfect Mom to guide your children’s learning! I appreciate your comments and hope that this clarifys unschooling a little better.


  2. Amber Meyhew 8 January 2011 at 8:46 pm (PERMALINK)

    I agree. School is all about programing our children to become slaves of the jobforce when they are older. When they finally retire, they look back at their lives and realize they never really lived. They end up sad, and angry at the world. Many use their remaining years trying to discover who they are and do the things they have always wanted to do if they still feel they are able. I see it all the time with many of my older/retirement aged friends.

    Some of my greatest discoveries were made by myslef without any instruction from others. It is truly the best way to learn. I have done and created many things that I could never have done if I was forced to do these things from somebody elses standards.

    It is highly important that children interact with people of all ages. I have friends who’s age ranges from about 10-70. I have always been able to comunicate with both much younger and older people. That is the real world. And any form of education that exposes children to different types of people is one that is more favorable to the maturing person’s development.

    • Laurie A. Couture 8 January 2011 at 9:08 pm (PERMALINK)


      What a perfect and beautiful, yet sad way to sum up the lives of most public school children and graduates. Nature intended for us to be born into joy, freedom, passion, happiness, relationships, sharing, caring, exploration, creating, imagining, inventing and living- from infancy through out childhood into adulthood. We are not meant to be boxed into a life directed by those whose main motivation is to mold us into productivity machines.

      Please keep an eye out for my next blog post, to go live tonight or tomorrow, inspired by your post on this subject…


  3. Kelly 8 April 2011 at 1:02 am (PERMALINK)

    Laurie, what a great post, and your first paragraph is so spot-on. I’m wondering, have you written about the child who does WELL in school (or, of course, gives the appearance of diong so)? As such a child, “gifted” in science, math, and the linguistic arts (of which Buehler Education’s site says are the learning styles favored by the system), I thought of myself as thriving (I was not) and gave the appearance of doing so. Many adults point to such examples of kids as the proof school “works”. Any thoughts or posts?

    • Laurie A. Couture 29 April 2011 at 1:48 pm (PERMALINK)


      I have not written specifically about children who appear on the outside to “do well” in school because I am so much more drawn to the children who are being mangled by the school system. The children who appear to do well are not really doing well holistically, however. The questions people (who look at such adult-pleasing children as indicators of public school being “successful”) need to ask themselves are, “Successful at what?” and, “At what cost to the child?”



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